History and Repentance

When I was in high school, I took World History sophomore year and U.S. History junior year. At some point in the year, both of my teachers, Blair Haddle and Micah Behrend, both said something along the lines of: "those who fail to study history are doomed to repeat it." History is the records of events involving nations, groups, movements, people. More specifically, history gives us the general trends of behavior: their triumophs, innovations, mistakes, and disasters. History seems to have volumes full of nothing but the bad decisions and atrocities of man, from the detailed biographies on a single person to a broad look at an entire nation's existence.

Well, it's a bit of an understatement, but nobody is perfect. In the words of Bruce R McConkie, "There has only been one perfect person, and that's the Lord Jesus." Everyone is going to do and/or think something that they shouldn't. So, how can we, as individuals, learn from our mistakes without being condemned by them? My answer may be simple, but it is part of the reason why I live the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and why I am now a missionary. The answer: repent.

Repentance is correcting our lives in order to bring them closer into harmony with God's will. There are steps in the process of repentance, but there is not any one fixed list of things to do. These are the basics, but the application of them differs depending on the person and the situation.

1) Acknowledge our wrongdoing(s). We simply cannot correct what we do not understand to be a problem.

2) Confess. I know that whenever I make a mistake, I generally try to hide it. Something that repentance will do is remove pride from our lives. All sins need to be confessed to God. If our sins have harmed another person, as they tend to do, we need to tell them what we've done.

3) Ask for forgiveness. The people that we confess to also need to hear our apology. Pretty much all sin is a result of pride, and by asking forgiveness, we humble ourselves even more. Also, by asking forgiveness, and furthering the rest of the repentance process, we are no longer responsible for what we did. With forgiveness and sincere repentance, the other person now has the responsibility to forgive you. Some things take longer to forgive, but don't worry about that. Them forgiving you is their job, not yours.

4) Stop sinning. This is an obvious step, but depending on the sin, it can be a hard one. Pretty much all sins, after some time, become habit forming. Stopping sinning also involves striving never to do it again, ever. This is a tough one, but it is doable. We may slip, but the important thing to get up again after falling down.

5) Rely on the Savior. The Atonement of Jesus Christ takes effect not only at the end of the repentance process, but throughout it. Jesus is the Savior, He saves people. If you're having a bad day, pray for strength and wisdom.

Repentance is a change of heart and a change of behavior. So, it cannot be truly done on one's deathbed. We need to repent while we are alive, preferably now. There is a passage in The Book of Mormon (Alma 34:31-15) that is quite clear on repentance. In short, do not put it off. It has been my personal experience that repentance enables us to have a fuller measure of the love of God in our lives. That being said, I do not want to put that off, but by having that fuller measure than I currently have, I become a better man.

Repentance enables each of us to learn from our own history without being condemned by it. There's a quote that I like to use. "If I couldn't repent, I'd be woefully discouraged." This was said by J. Golden Kimball, who was a general authority of the church back in the 1920s and 1930s. He had a somewhat rough life, and as such, had some bad habits that he struggled to completely overcome. Nonetheless, he never gave up, continuing to do what we could.

Some people, when asked about why they behave a certain way and treat others the way they do, say soemthing along the lines of "It's because of my past that I am the way I am, and there's not much I can do about that." I used to be exactly the same way. But thankfully, I've learned from that mistake. Repentance is a process of change, and everyone has the potential to change because everyone has individual agency. Our repentance efforts, which are manifestiations of our faith, enable us to having the cleansing power of Christ's Atonement in our lives. In terms of past events, The Atonement allows us to learn from our history without having that history define us. Those who hold to a position of "I can't change" don't truly understand the Atonement.

The way I look at my past is like driving a car with a rearview mirror. We need that mirror in order to see what is behind us. It is a tool that enables us to see, among other things, if we can safely move into another lane of traffic. It also enables us to manuever the car safely while it is in reverse, for example, when pulling out of a parking spot or parallel parking. But, as pretty much everyone in the United States knows, cars are meant to be driven forward, not backward. And, as anyone who drives a car can tell, if you arent' paying attention to the road, you crash into things. Well, dwelling on one's past is like focusing on the rearview mirror while the car's in drive. Eventually, you're going to crash into something or somebody, and you'll also cause hassle for other people on the road.

A couple of years ago, there was a general conference talk that was on this topic (click here). The gist of it is: the Atonement of Christ allows us to put the garbage of our pasts behind us. Insisting on dwelling such things is very unwise and often destroys the good of our present lives.

Learn from the past, enjoy your present, and plan for the future with confidence and optimism. When we live the gospel of Jesus Christ to the best of our abilities, things eventually work out. We still have to deal with hard, often tragic things, but such is life. None are spared. By relying on the Savior, we are able to learn from the hard things and come out better than we would have otherwise.

Going home soon

I recently received my "pink slip." Every missionary receives one about three months before they normally go home, just so that the necessary information is had, thus enabling travel arrangements to be made. One thing that the pink slip gives is your release date, which for me is July 31, 2012. For those who do not know, I started my mission on July 28, 2010. As of April 19, I have been a full-time missionary in the California Santa Rosa Mission for 21 months or so. I've known for a while that at some point in the future I was going to go home, but now that date is pretty much set. There's no denying or getting around it now, my days are numbered. I want to make these thee months that I still have my best. I want to finish out on a high note.

(My days as a full-time missionary are now numbered.)

Being a missionary is how I define myself now. Now, of course, anyone who talks to me for more than two minutes will realize, if I don't tell them sooner, that I am not anywhere near perfect. I'm still a flawed 21-year old young man. But, I am more than that. I am one who has been the receipient of many blessings from God. Those blessings, largely the result of my faith and living the gospel of Jesus Christ, have changed my worldview. Such blessings have come to me packaged in hard work and inconvience. Fact is, if any of us want to learn and/or grow, we are going to have to do something inconvient, and possible painful, eventually.

Before my mission, I was not very happy. I had very little hope for society, and I despised anything involving people at all. I'm happy to report now that my outlook is not the same anymore. I still think that many parts of society are less than ideal, but I have hope now for the future. Let's face it: you and I are not going to like everyone we come into contact with. But, like I mentioned in an earlier post (here it is) , when we are kind to people, we will receive more kindness from people in return. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Also, everyone has problems, whether they are minor or major. People are different, coming from different backgrounds and having different education and experiences. Everyone has a story. And of course, as this seems to happen to me a lot when I knock doors, you may have just caught someone at a bad time.

Staying happy is not easy with the world that way it is. Things beyond our control can devastate our lives, removing things and people that are dear to us. People that we thought were trustworthy betray us, offenses are received, and we aren't always able to have thenice things that others seem to have. Point is, if I felt so inclined, I could write a very long post on every reason not to be happy. I'm not going to subject anyone who reads this or myself to that.  But, in spite of all the bad things that exist in life, there are plenty of good reasons to be happy, or at least not dwelling on misery. Between human nature and the way society currently is, it is easier to seeon the bad than the good. But, once we see the good, we can find it in the middle of bad things and situations.

God wants us to be happy and progress. Everything that he asks us to do is ultimately for our good. If only we could have the perspective He has. We can understand (to some limited degree) why some things happen when we keep in mind two things: God is literally our Father in Heaven, and every individual, while imperfect, has the capability and the responsibility to understand the gospel of Jesus Christ for themselves. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we always have the ability to control how we react.