Talking to People

I am pretty shy and quiet person.  Before I became a missionary, I was one of those guys that would stay at home and never talk to anyone.  Instead, I would either play video games, watch TV/movies, or read novels.  I had developed a view of thorough distrust of anyone I didn't already know.  And for those I did know, I wasn't the person they deserved to know.  This attitude really started for me in 7th grade and by 8th grade, it had taken over my personality. I had become a shy and cynical nerd that thought that there was nothing good to be had from people at all.

Whenever I would venture to talk to anyone, it was awkward and very painful for me.  At times, I felt like I was utterly incapable of communicating to another human being.  There were literally days where I did not say a word to anyone, and there were other days where I said hardly a word to anyone. For the better part of 8 years, my social skills diminished to almost nothing, and because I could avoid it, I never really sought to improve it. Being a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has changed that for the better.

I have been out on my mission for a little over 15 months now.  This has been both the hardest and the most rewarding experience I have ever had in my life.  As a missionary, I'm supposed to talk to everyone person that I see.  This is very difficult, at times painful for me.  I'm still awkward in conversation when I don't know the person.  But, I am NOWHERE near as bad as I used to be.  This is because I was forced to confront and admit my problems and issues.  After I had been out in the mission for about 6 months, I had the privilege of working with a missionary who was sympathetic towards my struggles.  This kind man was patient with my reluctance to talk much. He helped me in whatever way he could. We would practice talking to people.  He would give me advice on how to start up conversation.  And then he would allow me to talk to random people that we'd meet on the street.  The main thing he said was, "just imagine that they are your family and start by shooting the breeze about something random, and then talk about the gospel." 

I am more comfortable with talking to people now, but getting to that point has required a lot of hard work and discipline. The main thing that helped was my faith in Jesus Christ.  In middle and high school, I let my faith waiver, and I didn't really try to live what I said I believed.  I was coasting along with my faith, not really doing much of anything to strengthen it and, consequently, not enjoying anything from my faith.  I've prayed alot on my mission, asking my Heavenly Father for strength, help, and comfort.  I prayed specifically for the pain I felt when talking to people to go away, or at least lessen. I've prayed that I would become comfortable working with people. I knew that my prayers would be answered, and I was relying on faith when I prayed, since I was not able to see how God would answer them. Prayers are answered, but they are usually answered by the efforts and actions of other people.  It has been my experience that most of the time, those people do not know what their actions are unless you tell them.  Those experiences that I had with that missionary were an answer to my prayers.  I have likewise had many more experiences with other missionaries that have been answers to prayers.  Answers to prayer are not always, in fact not often, spectacular.  They come quietly and simply, and if we are not open or paying attention, we can miss them.
The mission is not for the weak-hearted or for those who do not believe.  But, when you have a testimony, even if you can't really articulate it, the mission is like miracle-gro for it.  This is because the gospel of Jesus Christ is actually a lifestyle.  It is not merely a philosophical ideal.  Jesus taught that, when we live the gospel, that is when we learn and KNOW if it is real. (John 7:14-17) In short, we learn by doing.  Because of prayer, scripture study, hard work, and discipline, my testimony has been greatly strengthened.  I still have trouble talking to people sometimes, but my testimony, my firm belief, is that the gospel of Jesus Christ can bless lives and fixes the problems people have.  As such, everyone deserves to know about it.

None of us are perfect or will be perfect while we are alive.  But, we are not required to be in order to receive the blessings of the gospel. The amazing thing is that whatever our problems, whatever our imperfections, they can be fixed when we live the gospel of Jesus Christ.  All we need to do is believe and act on our beliefs in faith.  When we rely on the power of God and the grace of Jesus Christ, NOTHING is impossible. (Mark 10:27)

The gospel of Jesus Christ helps us grow and become better people than we are now.  No matter what is going on in your life, there is something that can be improved. All growth brings growing pains, no matter what issue is being worked on. The peace we experience when we live the gospel is not obtainable in any other way.

I'm still not anywhere near perfect. I still have some troubles talking to people.  But, I am better today than I was 15 months ago.  I know that is because I have put my faith in Christ and I try to live what I say I believe.